Sibling Rivalry: Handle with care!


Sibling Rivalry

We have all read about sibling rivalry and fairy tales like Cinderella but what happens when you experience such a tiff in your house. Sibling rivalry happens when kids feel envy, jealousy or resentment, and can lead to arguments, fights, and competition for attention and power. So when are brothers and sisters having a normal spat and when it is a real problem, how can parents tell that and what must they do to keep peace.

It is a concern for almost all parents of two or more kids. Problems often start right after the birth of the second child.  Sibling rivalry usually continues throughout childhood and can be very frustrating and stressful to parents.

While it may be common for brothers and sisters to fight, it’s certainly not pleasant for anyone in the house. And a family can only tolerate a certain amount of conflict. So what should you do when the fighting starts?

  • Sibling rivalry starts even before the second child is born, and continues as the kids grow and compete for everything from toys to attention. It is important to give responsibilities to the older one and small tasks like helping while changing the younger one’s clothes and nappies, to feed the milk. Make sure you watch over!
  • Don’t get involved. Step in only if there’s a danger of physical harm. If you always intervene, the kids may start expecting your help and wait for you to come to the rescue rather than learning to work out the problems on their own
  • If you’re concerned by the language used or name-calling, it’s appropriate to “coach” kids through what they’re feeling by using appropriate words. This is different from intervening or stepping in and separating the kids. If you do step in, try to resolve problems with your kids, not for them
  • Sometimes it’s best just to give them space for a little while and not immediately rehash the conflict. Otherwise, the fight can escalate again. If you want to make this a learning experience, wait until the emotions have died down
  • Next, try to set up a “win-win” situation so that each child gains something. When they both want the same toy, perhaps there’s a game they could play together instead
  • Set ground rules for acceptable behaviour. Tell the kids to keep their hands to themselves and that there’s no cursing, no name-calling, no yelling, no door slamming. Solicit their input on the rules — as well as the consequences when they break them
  • Don’t put too much focus on figuring out which child is to blame. It takes two to fight — anyone who is involved is partly responsible

Remember, as kids cope with disputes, they also learn important skills that will serve them for life — like how to value another person’s perspective, how to compromise and negotiate, and how to control aggressive impulses.


Music helps brain development

Music boosts brain development

Music boosts brain development

Music is often considered as the universal language by all. Regardless of your age or where you are from, a good melody is something that everyone can enjoy and will reciprocate.

Experts do agree that it is essential to let a child learn to play a musical instrument as music provides strings of benefits. Music is an essential part of every child’s development. A great melody can often light up their eyes, cheer them up, encourage them to move around and dance, and even help instil confidence right at the beginning. And it doesn’t end there.

Studies have shown that music can help with language skills and develop fine motor skills right at a young age. A budding mind can grasp language real quick. A child’s speech is developed as he hums the right words of the song. But make sure your playlist has the right songs with clean lyrics! Nursery rhymes are often melodious and have easy lyrics that help kids to develop their speech.

No one knows for sure but some studies indicate that foetuses can hear and react to music. The study found that exposure to music in the prenatal period seemed to be linked to increased attention, more sound imitation and earlier vocalization in the baby. Soothing, classical music and nature sounds are believed to be soothing, while louder types of music may startle the baby.

Kids who learn to play a musical instrument often seen to have developed a sense of accomplishment that boosts their self-confidence. Children who become involved in a musical group learn important life skills, such as how to relate to others, how to work as a team and appreciate the rewards that come from working together. Music unites people!

If you want your child to develop their confidence, learning to play a musical instrument can help. Every child will need lots of encouragement and no judgement!  Appreciate your child every time they show the courage to play in front of others.